The Live Music Capital of the World.

It’s 2009, boys and girls. Happy new year. Smile pretty.

So it’s January 6, 2009.  I got this crazy idea about being an au pair on December 30, 2008.  17 or so emails, 6 phone calls, and 2 interviews later… and I’m flying to Austin, Texas this weekend to see if I’m the right fit for an amazing family. Crazy? Yes.

I’ve been job searching for 6 months now. I’ve got a few stipulations about what I will and won’t do… mostly, I’m not down with fast food, or any food, really. Waiting tables isn’t something that’s beneath me, don’t get me wrong, I love serving people. I just don’t want to work at a chain — you’re not gonna catch me with fifteen pieces of flair pinned to a miserably ill-fitting polyester vest, taking orders from snotty people for dishes with horribly cute names, wading through a crappy roach-infested kitchen where nothing is sanitary or even good… ugh. No way.

I’m not qualified for things I feel that I could easily handle, like secretarial work. I’ve got a GED, a 28 on my ACT, a typing speed of 70wpm, a firm handle on Microsoft Word, and a sparkling personality. But zero relevant job experience. All of that combined with the rubbish current job market puts me in the position I’m in. I’m qualified for jobs I don’t feel are worth the trouble, and I’m not qualified for the few jobs that are actually available… that’s rough, yeah?

I’ve been a babysitter since day one. I’ve got 5 brothers and sisters — 4 that are younger than me, 3 that I took a pretty active role in helping raise. I’ve been a one-off babysitter for countless families, and a regular babysitter for many. I’ve nannied for two wonderful families, had fantastic experiences with both of them — considered their children my own. I am a great babysitter. I’m brilliant with kids. This is something I know about myself — these are my skills. So I’ve been taking as many babysitting jobs as I’ve been able to get my hands on since moving back from England, but those are few and far between. I need something regular, something that pays well, with some great kids.

On a total whim, I decided to Google ‘au pair’. I came across a few different sites, but landed on one called GreatAuPair.com. It’s essentially eHarmony for nannies & families. An au pair/nanny posts a profile, families post their profiles, then the site allows them to search for each other. Within 2 hours of posting my profile, I saw an out of state area code on my caller ID — it was a prospective family calling to ask if I would be interested in working with them. I was shocked at how quickly everything seemed to be happening, but at the same time, hello ego boost! I went from underqualified to a hot commodity in less than 24 hours. Emails began to pour in as families added me to their ‘hot list’ — a list of nannies they were interested in learning more about. I received a couple of voicemails and personal emails from different families, all of which felt unreal. I still can’t believe how quickly this all materialized. What alternate universe did I step into? Suddenly, potential employers were flooding my inbox… and I hadn’t even talked to my parents or boyfriend about it. Talk about whiplash.

Got a call a few nights ago from a fantastic family in the heart of Texas. We clicked immediately (God is working overtime in my life) and after a long talk on the phone and another long talk with my dad, I’m flying to Austin this Saturday to meet them. I’m really looking forward to this weekend, you have no idea. A 4-year-old boy and 19-month-old twins… sounds like a dream, right? I’ve never worked with twins before, so I’m anticipating a challenge… but a really cute, cuddly challenge, y’know? I got the opportunity to chat with their former au pair, and she was so helpful in answering my questions. I still have yet to experience any real doubt or anxiety… it feels oddly like the month leading up to England. I’m running on the excitement of finding a job and potentially embarking on my next adventure… that allows me to casually ignore the worry that I should be consumed with and the unease I should be feeling about potentially moving 10 hours away for 6 months. I’m chalking this up to the peace that surpasses all understanding.

My parents are being incredibly supportive and Joe is being an angel. I’m so thankful for their flexibility and especially for their faith in me. I know that 6 months is a long time, but it’s not forever. There’s a concrete beginning and end. Long distance relationships are daunting, but not impossible, and I’m a firm believer in testing relationships. Time and distance are two major tests, and I know that Joe and I are ready for that kind of faith-building. Thank you, Joe Joe. You mean the world to me.

I’m excited about Austin. It’s the ‘Live Music Capital of the World’ — need I say more? I love adding cities to my list of ‘places I’ve lived and loved’. (I’ve got ‘Woke Up In A Car’ by Something Corporate stuck in my head now. Awesome.) I’m in love with picking up camp and starting over… this is an ideal way to do that. Hooray.

So there’s that. I’ll keep you filled in on how it’s going. This process is exhilarating, and so God-orchestrated. I love it.

In other news: I’ve received two letters from the University of Memphis.

Letter Number 1: CONGRATULATIONS – It is my privilege to inform you that you have been accepted to the University of Memphis for the Fall 2009 semester as an undergraduate student!

Letter Number 2: CONGRATULATIONS! I am pleased to inform you that because of your superior academic credentials the University of Memphis wishes to offer you the UNIVERSITY OF MEMPHIS PROVOST’S SCHOLARSHIP beginning in the 2009-2010 academic year. THE UNIVERSITY OF MEMPHIS PROVOST’S SCHOLARSHIP is a $5,500 per year award for four years. This award is in addition to any Tennessee HOPE Lottery Scholarship Award you may be eligible to receive.

How am I celebrating, you ask? Well, first, I’m laughing at my aforementioned ‘superior academic credentials‘. Wow. I mean, let’s be completely honest: there is NOTHING remotely ’superior’ about my academic credentials. Like… really. Dang.

Next, I’m crying, because I didn’t think I was going to be accepted to a 4-year university… but now I’m essentially being awarded a merit-based full ride? Whoa. To God be the glory, and y’all watch me as I show school who’s boss. Thank you, Jesus. This is insane.

So there’s my life for the past few weeks, minus my trip to Baton Rouge, which I’ll account for in a subsequent post.

For now, be good, smile pretty, and when you ask in earnest, be prepared to receive.

xxAimeeCait

Whatever My Lot, Thou Hast Taught Me To Say.

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trumpet shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Oh, this hymn. It’s on my mind today, inexplicably.

At any rate, it’s been an amazing day at Life Church. Servolution was particularly lovely as Joe and I continued to meet people and make friends while loving on the Hollywood community in Memphis Proper. I can’t really tell you how much I loved what we did today. We went door to door inviting people to a Thanksgiving celebration next Saturday at the Hollywood Community Center. Most of the people we spoke with were elderly and several struggled to even make it to their front doors to speak with us. One lady, Miss Margaret, actually invited us in to sit in her livin’ room while we chatted with her. Understand, today’s high was 47 and it was drizzling, so while I might have refused the offer any other time, today was my day to recognize a blessing when I heard it and say: “Yes, please!” I didn’t even allow the lady I was walking with, Julie, a chance to object — I answered for the two of us and quickly followed Miss Margaret inside. Gahlee, that living room was like a warm hug.

I love how faux outgoing I get on days like today. I’m such an introvert. I mean, I feel painfully shy at times… so maybe not 100% proper introvert, but still. I guess I’ve grown out of most of that. Haven’t got the time to be shy anymore. Can’t afford it.

Must mention the amazing lady Joe and I met and carpooled with to Hollywood. Kim just started attending Life Church and is something else. She’s just as excited as we are about finally finding a place to call home… I had such a good time laughing with her and getting to know her. Hope to see her again soon.

After Hollywood wrapped up, Kim drove us back to Life Church, and Joe and I got some Starbuck’s to warm us up. I highly recommend the Gingersnap Latte — Buddy The Elf agrees: it is the new best way to spread Christmas cheer. Got back to the Sawyer Residence and I chickflicked with Joe’s mama while Joe filled out his paperwork from his clinicals on Friday. Man, that stuff takes for-ev-errr. Homeboy is dedicated. It should be funny once I have homework… Wonder what kinda b-word I’ll be.

Went to the Saturday night service with Joe, Rachel & Andy (woohoo, quality time with The Schelbs!) and had a blast. Went to dinner after the service, but not before meeting Amanda Meneses and Leslie Siebeling. SO lovely. As always, my mouth went about 90mph… so I hope my babbling isn’t the only thing they remember about me. I’ve been meaning to introduce myself to those two for a while — both are LSU grads — I love finding Tigers away from heauxm! But yeah, Rachel, Andy, Joe and I had a great time at dinner. I think that’s our first double date… what a couple to double with. I love our friends.

Alright, restless legs. Can’t handle sitting in this chair anymore.

Be good, smile pretty, work hard.

xxAimeeCait

Greater Things Are Yet To Come.

Can’t get this out of my head since I started attending Life Church. Every time I hear it, I fall in love with it a little bit more — each time we sing it at Life Church, I can see our congregation claiming Memphis for Jesus, promising our love, hard work and prayer to this city: God’s city, filled with God’s people. If that doesn’t get you superpsyched, check your pulse. I love it. My church is bursting at the seams and I get to be a part of it. That’s immense.

xxAimeeCait

For everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes.

We’ll start with a quote from my favorite poet, ee cummings.

I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes.

So, with the sunny nature of the quote, I’ll launch into this whingy post.

Yesterday ended roughly. It’s not to say I had a bad day – but then, that all depends on what exactly qualifies a day as ‘bad’. Bad isn’t really an accurately descriptive word, doesn’t quite do the job.

We’ll call it… lackluster.

Yes.

Yesterday had a lackluster finish. It was slow burning, smoldering… y’know, it wasn’t as destructive or all-encompassing as a proper blaze, but nevertheless, it carefully ate away at my confidence, my sense of well-being, whatever. So, I fought valiantly, but my body went all Judas on me and I cried last night. Hard. I’m sure you can picture it: Infantile lip quivering, gasping for breath, bitter tears of frustration slipping down my cheeks, taking my mascara with ‘em. (Waterproof mascara is just something I don’t do. I don’t enjoy scrubbing with 60 grit sandpaper simply to remove my eye makeup.) I’ll concede that it was a good move to cry, yes, but it felt akin to admitting defeat. No one honestly enjoys giving up, particularly when the signs of giving up are so readily visible… y’know, like sobbing uncontrollably.

I’m genuinely trying, and I know I’m trying. Mom & dad know I’m trying – that’s important. I nearly cried again earlier when daddy said that he’d prayed for me this morning. Let it be known that of all the people in the world, I love my parents best. They have my back, they dole out support and sympathy and compassion endlessly, they are my refuge. Mum & dad are my most avid supporters, my personal Spartan cheerleaders (always ready with THE PERFECT CHEER). They’ve offered solid advice, as always. Dad called me back into their room last night to tell me that he was proud of me. He couldn’t really have said anything more effective than that. That was enough to send me back to my room taking deep breaths and ready to wash my mascara off my face. When your family mantra is “Don’t embarrass the family” – dad lettin’ you know that he’s proud of you carries a great deal of weight.

I woke up this morning with a deep breath and a weak smile. My only option is to get up out of bed and try again today. Giving up isn’t viable. So I appreciate what God has set before me:

I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes.

It feels wonky, but what other choice do I have? Crawl back under the covers and hide? What kind of life is that?

It’s a teachable moment, a learning experience, something I’ll store away and use later on. Here’s to a God that lets me fall. I doubt I could learn any other way.

xxAimeeCait

Project Runway Party

So, let’s get real honest for a second. Hear me out. I’m not just playing Debbie Downer, as per my usual gig.
I’m all about the backstory.

Number of friends Aimee has in Baton Rouge: countless.
Number of friends Aimee has in England: many.
Number of friends/acquaintances Aimee has in Memphis: …

So, when I’m dying to leave the house to do something less inane than grocery shopping, my options are (to put it lightly) limited. Obviously, that’s not to say I don’t enjoy spending time with my family. I love my family more than I can say. But it’s frustrating.

In England, I went out at night. I went to pubs and danced and laughed with friends. Granted, the change of lifestyle & the slowing of my pace was wholly expected upon my return to The States – more importantly to the Southern Baptist stronghold that is the South… I just didn’t expect it to feel so mind-numbingly bland. I guess I came back with ideas & plans that, due to one circumstance or another, never came to fruition. I’m sure you know what that’s like. Easy to feel deflated when holes are poked in your plans.

Now, all that being said, not having things to do hasn’t been the worst thing that’s happened to my summer… not by a long shot. After 9 months in the UK, spending vast amounts of my time alone, I’ve learned to cope with not having plans for a weekend. What once was a totally disheartening experience is now an opportunity to absolutely revel in solitude – something I welcome openly at this point. Nothing says “wholly free of social anxiety” like a night spent reading in bed. So, while I can certainly cope with being alone for periods of time, the song remains the same – I’d do better with a friend or two.

So now that we’ve established that, let’s move on to tonight’s events.

Highlight of my night? Project Runway Season 5 debut.

Cassidy and I decided that we ought to celebrate (I don’t really need a reason to celebrate, but sometimes it helps) and have a Project Runway party. Thus, we played with make up & spent time making snarky comments at the motley crew of youngblood fashion designers that take themselves far too seriously. It was magic.

One day, soon, I’ll have friends to do this sort of thing with. It’ll take some time, but I’ll get there. Keep the faith, lovely.

Alright, while this might not make sense yet, I’m fadin’ fast. My eyes are halfway shut & my breathing is slowin’ down. Gorgeous.

I’ll look at this in the morning. Until then…

xxAimeeCait

The Storm Is Passing Over

It’s Sunday, and this is my new favourite.

Y’all enjoy.

xxAimeeCait

The Sleepiest Little Girl

That’s me. I’m basically yawning my face off.

Bible study was lovely tonight. We focused on 2AM friends – the friend that you call at 2AM to vent/cry/come and pick you up when your car breaks down on the wrong side of town. We looked at Paul and his relationship with the church in Acts 20. It was brilliant. We had a chance to identify some of the characteristics that make these friends so unique, but we also spent time talking about our half of the relationship – being a good friend in order to attract good friends. Simple, yeah, but solid.

Makes me miss a certain kid from Great Ayton.

Anyway. I’ve got something of a headache, so I’m out for now. Maybe a coherent post tomorrow. Maybe.

Also, I baked a nice-sized batch of chocolate chip pecan cookies. They were, in a word, excellent. High five. If my cheesecake wasn’t enough to get me married, maybe the cookies will tip the balance. Who knows.

xx AimeeCait

The Challenge

Last night’s Bible study was awesome. We read from the second chapter of Titus… Verses 11-14. Here it is in the New Living Translation:

For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God, while we look forward with hope to that wonderful day when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed. He gave his life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us his very own people, totally committed to doing good deeds.

And here it is in the Message:

God’s readiness to give and forgive is now public. Salvation’s available for everyone! We’re being shown how to turn our backs on a godless, indulgent life, and how to take on a God-filled, God-honoring life. This new life is starting right now, and is whetting our appetites for the glorious day when our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, appears. He offered himself as a sacrifice to free us from a dark, rebellious life into this good, pure life, making us a people he can be proud of, energetic in goodness.

What an awesome challenge. This incredible life-saving grace is a free gift to me, someone so wholly unworthy of saving – but He loves me anyway. There’s nothing I can do to make Him love me any more or any less. I was born loved, I live loved, I will die loved.

But grace isn’t something I can take once & be set for life, never again considering the miraculous rebirth I’ve experienced – I have been commanded by God, my Creator, to exhibit outward signs of this radical inward change I’ve undergone… so I need to look at the way the world lives & make up my mind. Who am I, and who am I living for? I need to identify my shortcomings and my faults & deny the selfish urge to live a way that glorifies me. Keith used a phrase my daddy loves to use: living with “a sense of urgency”. We should live with that sense of urgency, like this is all we have (because if you haven’t realized it yet – this is, in fact, all we have), to grasp every opportunity to glorify God in our daily, mundane lives.

God created me with tasks in mind, already set forth for me to encounter & complete. Everyday, when I wake up, I have a decision to make: who am I living for today?

Keith brought up this verse in Ephesians 2:

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Again: nothing I do or say will make Jesus love me any more or any less. I haven’t been saved so I can live a life about Aimee, I have been saved to do what I was created to do. I am a living masterpiece… a breathing, singing, crying, laughing, shouting, blogging work of art that God pieced together to accomplish His plan.

How AWESOME!

To be upright in my living, to act righteously, to deny my self, to exhibit self-control, to wake up in the morning asking Jesus, “What can I do for you today, Lord? What’s your will for me today?”
This is what I’m called to do. That’s my challenge.

Wicked.

xxAimeeCait

Shane Claiborne on Three Degrees of Separation

Borrowing this from Carole Turner’s blog. A lot of what these three have to say is so challenging… three men representing three generations with three points of view. Seriously, just grab some laundry, click ‘play’ & start folding or matching socks. It’s worth listening to. These three are so different, I guarantee you’ll find a bit of yourself in at least one of them.

more about “Shane Claiborne on Three Degrees of S…“, posted with vodpod

xx AimeeCait

Quick Preemptive Apology

Right, so – this week is the week of all weeks (so far, that is – MAY is gonna be properly MENTAL). I will be busier than the proverbial bee, and there’s a chance it might not end up bein’ real pretty, sooooooo I’m gonna go ahead and apologize for a potential lack of posting this week. Iffn I get the chance, I’ll totally give y’all a quick rundown on how things are goin’ and the like, but otherwise, I really can’t see when I’ll have a spare moment (that I’m not sleeping, of course).

This weekend was wild – woke up and got lots of work done on Saturday (because that’s what everyone wants to do with their “time off”), then went out with friends for my friend Rebekah’s 19th birthday. Y’know, it still feels strange to say that I’m nineteen years old. Very strange indeed. I feel about seven.

This morning was an early start – woke up at 9 (sliiiightly later than I might have done had I been thinking) & rushed to get ready for a youth-led church service at St. John’s. I am SO proud of my youth. They were amazing. They shared their Slum Survivor experience & what they learned from sleeping rough for a few nights. I don’t think I’d realized what a cool thing we’d done that weekend until this morning. Listening to a bunch of 17 & 18 year olds talk about how much they’d been challenged & how much they’d gotten out of this experience really just broke me. Thank you God for letting me be a part of their lives, getting to play a role in events that actually mean something to them, helping them to grow into these amazing people… I’m so grateful for the role I get to play in their lives. Man.

Later on, I’ll post something a girl named Eleanor wrote – it was so flippin’ convicting. It affected the whole congregation & I got all misty – granted, it doesn’t take much to get me to cry, but it was just so honest & true. Homegirl’s got talent & faith that could move mountains. I’m really humbled when I hear what these kids worry about & what they spend their time learning about — I was not that kind of kid. I mean, I wasn’t completely selfish, either, but I don’t think I could be bothered sometimes. They’ve challenged me so much this year. Their passion has ignited passion in my own heart, and that’s something I’m incredibly thankful for.

Soooooo again, I apologize for a potential dry patch in my blogging, but I’ll be back soon.

Love you dearly.
xx Aimee Cait